”Van Gogh” by ”Bekka Jean” is about how manipulative/abusive relationships are hard to walk away from, especially when its family. “I’ve loved you to the moon. But this time I’m not coming back for you.” Discover that the January 12th in Formula Indie
I wrote this song on October 18th when I finally accepted that my mom had Dementia. I had been in denial and didn’t want to believe what was happening to her.
Accepting her diagnosis opened my eyes to the reality that this could happen to me too someday… or anyone. To have a life’s worth of memories stolen from you has got to be the most terrifying experience.
The loss of moms memories was very traumatic for my siblings and I. Depression and self neglect caused mom’s health declined so quickly. Mom’s fight with Dementia ended on December 26th, the day after Christmas.
Mom was able to listen to “what if I forget you='(” – before her illness took over. I asked her if it was okay if I share it and she said yes – she was happy to know other people would hear it. I want to help spread awareness of this wicked illness.
“what if i forget you ='(” will be OUT January 7th.
Presave “what if i forget you ='(“
Vincent Van Gogh was not a happy person… He was tormented with severe mental instabilities that would rear their ugly head a bit later in his life… but, knowing how he suffered while simultaneously creating such inspiring artworks really chokes me up.
My siblings and I have always loved his artworks, my older brother especially loves his most famous piece “The starry Night”(which definitely inspired my Cover Art for “Van Gogh”)
The imagery he created in his art was hovering in my mind when I wrote this song.
Mental health/illness has always played a major roll in my life – my older brother suffers from Schizophrenia and watching his highs and lows has always been so hard. Enthusiasm is always followed by depression – its a constant cycle. I suffer from depression myself… it’s always there, all I can do is distract myself from it.
“Van Gogh” is about how manipulative/abusive relationships are hard to walk away from, especially when its family. “I’ve loved you to the moon. But this time I’m not coming back for you.”
My family and I have endured a lot of trauma/abuse, but we are healing and finding our worth again.
Van Gogh suffered from severe mental illness just like my abuser, and I empathize with him. Sometimes love means saying goodbye.
This song is not only inspired by my love of Van Gogh’s art – but as weird as it may sound, when I think of Van Gogh – I think of my abuser and, “I hope you run through tall fields of gold where the stars hang like a Van Gogh.”
Genre: Singer-Songwriter/Indie Rock/Alternative
Hometown: From San Diego, CA but based in Greeley, CO
Influences: Yellowcard, The Goo Goo Dolls, Mothica, Paramore, Eisley
Sounds Like: Imogen Heap, The Naked And The Famous, Florence + The Machine
Born in San Diego but raised in Greeley Colorado, Armenian American singer-songwriter Bekka Jean started writing songs in her bedroom at the age of 16.
She recorded her debut single “///shutdown///mode///” from the comfort of her basement studio with her husband Robert. She wanted some help with mixing and mastering since she is still learning how to produce her music on her own. Marcus Murata(an aspiring audio engineer) and Blake Roses(was signed with Hopeless Records with his old band Oh, Weatherly and toured with Mayday Parade and Wild Life) both worked on “///shutdown///mode///”, helping Bekka achieve the sound she was aiming for.
///shutdown///mode///” was released on all major streaming platforms July 30th. She surpassed “the dreaded <1000 steams” on Spotify her first month of release and listeners have compared her sound to Imogen Heap, Marina, The Naked And The Famous and Florence + The Machine. New listeners can expect to have their ears filled with powerful vocals textured with layered harmonies all throughout the track. There are moments when the swirly synths and violins make you feel like you’re playing an old Final Fantasy RPG game.
Having written over 40 songs that are almost ready for release, 29-year-old Bekka Jean is working on her Debut EP. She will be announcing its release very soon.